bearing blog


bear – ing n 1  the manner in which one comports oneself;  2  the act, power, or time of bringing forth offspring or fruit; 3 a machine part in which another part turns [a journal ~];  pl comprehension of one’s position, environment, or situation;   5  the act of moving while supporting the weight of something [the ~ of the cross].


  • La rentrée.

    Also known as “back to school.”

    Two boys hunch over schoolbooks.  In the foreground, at a table; in the background, on a sofa
    Don’t they look studious?

    Mark planned on a full eight-hour workday Wednesday. We work when Mark works, I told the kids. “The way we’ll think about it,” I said to Leo as we were walking uphill trying to get some sunshine, “is that each day has three parts. Morning, afternoon, evening. On days that Dad works he’ll work for two of those parts. And we will too.”

    We won’t work for eight solid hours of course, homeschooling simply doesn’t take that long, especially when you have expressly planned to only work half time. It did mean that on Wednesday, for example, Leo did geometry in the morning (while Mark paged through some mandatory training modules) and French in the afternoon (while Mark zoomed into morning meetings).

    Our apartment bedroom has a nice little table which I yielded entirely to Mark for a desk.

    A man in a bright orange hoodie sits with his back to the camera on a high stool at a bar-height table against a wall in a bedroom.  He is working on a laptop.
    Mark at work.

    I started the day (after a lot of coffee) reading aloud from the novel we’re in the middle of, on my Kindle. That’s how we wake up and get ourselves im the mood, so to speak.

    Simon can do his Beast Academy math workbook pages independently, so I set him on that and sat down with Leo to go over the first couple lessons in the Geometry book. Leo’s the first one I’ve used Art of Problem Solving with, so I want to pay attention to the approach, but the first lessons in any geometry book are highly predictable: this is why we need to learn a lot of specialized vocabulary and notation; this is a point, a line, a plane; this is a locus.

    Not too stressful there, and when Leo finished the exercises in the first two short lessons, I released him for the morning. He went out to walk around. (Phys ed! Geography!) I turned to Simon and read aloud to him from a history book—we are just starting the Civil War volume of Joy Hakim’s ten-volume History of US, to which Simon is quite attentive and so it works well as a cozy sort of way of entering systematically into U.S. history in elementary school. I believe I can access my Prime Video library here, so we might put on Ken Burns later this month.

    After that I made Simon start his new science module, expressly chosen for the trip because it consists of one workbook and almost no experiments (basically, a human anatomy worktext). These are exactly the same reasons why Simon is not exactly enamored of it. Oh well, can’t pack the chemistry lab in the suitcase.

    Mark took a long lunch break and we met Leo at a creperie. The kids got sweet ones, Mark got le Savoyarde which means lots of cheese and ham, I got l’Azûrienne which meant tapenade, tomatoes, and chèvre.

    L’Azûrienne. Nutella in the background

    Mark still feels a little off from the jet lag but I am definitely getting my appetite back.

    Leo had walked all the way to the other, more fashionable end of town, past the marina and the sand beach. He showed us lots of pictures of winding narrow stairs and pedestrian ways, hemmed in with pastel walls and dotted with flowers. He wanted to walk more later. (And we did!)

    But first back to the apartment for 1) a nap and 2) French-from-a-textbook. I’m afraid the beginning of French II is a little boring as it starts with some review material, such as quizzes on numbers and time-telling, to find out where practice is needed. So that part wasn’t very fun. Especially since the wholly necessary nap pushed the schoolwork to later in the day than Leo is accustomed to doing it at home. But Mark was working till 6 pm… and, like I said, we work when Mark works.

    We ended the day by leaving Leo in charge for a bit while Mark and I went out for a drink, and then I fetched pizzas.

    Leo wasn’t in a pizza mood, so he ventured out separately to Kebab Berlinois and brought back some kind of wrap? in a Chipotle-quality flour tortilla, which is to say a better tortilla than I expected. The effect was of thinly sliced, mild gyro-type meat, with lettuce and a lot of onions. He thought it was a little bland and regretted bot asking for spicy sauce; I had a few bites and it was one of those things that tastes better and better as you go. If I had had one of these right when I got off the plane it would have totally hit the spot.

    Anyway, yesterday being a workday made it less fun, but it was pretty good for a workday if you ask me.

    tablescape with two empty glasses and a dish full of olive pits
    The olives were free with drinks

  • What I ate yesterday.

    The first full day after having slept, we designated as a rest and orientation day. The only really important task was to make sure everyone could maintain blood sugar, body temperature, levels of serotonin, and personal hygiene.

    1. 5 a.m. I popped awake with one thought: obtain and demolish the half-sandwich Mark had stowed in the fridge. I obeyed and then slept four more hours.

    2. 9:30 a.m. Kids awake already, so I am deprived of obligatory two hours drinking coffee in silence. Cognitive issues, also lack of coffee, led to struggle with the drip coffeemaker. Gave up and used off-brand Nespresso pod to make bad espresso while Mark figured it out.

    3. 11 a.m. I head out with a shopping list of toiletries. First I find a bakery-café that will still sell me a Formule Petit-Déj, and I eat an apple chausson. It comes in a wicker basket and I get pastry flakes all over my black dress. The double espresso is better than aparment Nespresso. I write yesterday’s blog post and put up a picture.

    4. 1 p.m. We all go out to lunch immediately after I return from the store with shaving cream and shampoo and deodorant and paper towels and better coffee. I am flustered and tired and my brain is not working, and I misunderstand my family’s intention to walk around looking for a place, and I march up and ask for a table at the first restaurant we hit when we get to the beach. Before we know it we are seated at the seaside and Leo is explaining to me that the plan was to walk around choosing one, whereas I had gotten the impression that (a) everyone needed to eat sooner and (b) they had already preselected this particular restaurant by internet search. Oops!

    Fortunately the sea breeze is lovely, the umbrellas are perfectly shady, and the restaurant has pizza which both boys demolish eagerly, as well as really good frites.

    A teenage boy seated at an outdoor restaurant table frowns severely at a pizza as he saws at it with a knife and fork
    Leo using a knife and fork on pizza.
    A boy eats a slice of pizza at an outdoor table.  A bottle of orange Fanta is visible on the table and the restaurant façade is visible across the street:  “Restaurant des Artistes”
    Simon, happy.

    The boys say the pizza tastes like the English muffin pizzas I made using tomato paste, when they were little.

    I have the salad with goat cheese toasts and proscuitto and honey. Mark, duck breast and fries. I say I can’t possibly eat it all because my appetite is all screwed up but I slowly and gradually plow through it. And I force myself to drink lots and lots of water, which I know I need after the travel day.

    Tablescape:  salad piled high with charcuterie and goat cheese toasts in the foreground, a bottle of mineral water, then another plate with fries and salad visible.  Across the table a man wearing sunglasses and an orange shirt, sunglasses case in the breast pocket.  In the background, a beach with blue water, swimmers, a distant point of land
    Hungrier than I thought

    4. 4 p.m. Mark returns from the beach with children and I return from shopping again with vegetables and limoncello. (After lunch and a nap I had paged through Provençal recipes and settled on a “light vegetable soup”). We open the limoncello before it is quite cold enough and drink some, then we have glasses of leftover red wine. Then Mark takes Leo shopping for a wallet and I begin chopping vegetables.

    Kitchen counter piled with fresh vegetables and a bottle of wine.
    Vegetables, parmesan, herbs, a jar of French-made pesto with walnuts.

    The onions, leek, celery, carrots, zucchini, potato, and green beans are all finally in little tiny dice when I discover that I can’t figure out how to operate the electric cooktop. We poke at it for a while, discuss whether it is induction or infrared, search fruitlessly for a manual, google without the help of the model number, drink more wine, break a wine glass and clean it up, and finally Mark finds a YouTube video and learns how to defeat the cooktop’s child lock. I am delighted to open a cabinet and find a food processor, which my recipe requires but I had resolved to do without.

    Meanwhile, Simon makes himself a sandwich of rosette de Lyon on “Harry’s Extra Moelleux Pain de Mie Nature” and is very pleased with it. And Leo goes into town and comes back with apricot preserves and is very pleased with them.

    Kitchen counter with a plastic-bagged loaf of sliced white bread (reminiscent of Wonder Bread, but French) and a package of rosette de Lyon sliced hard salami.
    Salami and sliced white bread for Simon

    5. 7 p.m. I have sautéed lardons of smoked bacon in olive oil, followed by the hard vegetables and then the soft vegetables, then added water and a potato (1/4 of it in a chunk and 3/4 of it in small dice) and a parmesan rind and thyme and bay leaf and pepper and salt. I have simmered, then added two ripe whole tomatoes, and then retrieved them and peeled them before puréeing them with the soft potato chunk and a bit of brothy vegetables and added them back to the soup. I have removed the parmesan rind and bay leaves and added white beans, red wine vinegar, and half a jar of pesto.

    A bowl of vegetable soup in the foreground, white wine and jar of pesto in the background.
    Soupe au pistou.

    We eat it with chilled Macon-Villages white wine, marinated olives, a bowl of blueberries and a bowl of greengage plums, a package of jambon de Bayonne, and chunks of baguette spread with ordinary French grocery store butter, which is to say it is amazing butter.

    Somehow without having to work hard at it we manage to sit at the table for almost two hours leisurely enjoying our food and wine. I have to go lie down on the couch for a while though, while Mark and Leo do the dishes.

    6. 9 p.m. We go out in search of gelato (look, we are right on the border, all the glace is Italian-style, I’m calling it gelato). I fail to take any pictures, but trust me, we found it. Leo orders the ice cream except for mine. Mark declares his cone (one scoop of chocolate, one of coconut) the best so far. I have a serviceable but melty scoop of banane. Simon has a lemon sorbetto that tastes exactly like a tart lemon drop, which he declares perfect; Leo has that plus coconut. We walk back along the roaring stony beach, put the cooled soup away, and that ends our rest day. We have indeed been fed.


  • Arrivés.

    Yesterday is a bit of a blur. I mean Sunday and yesterday—blurred together, all into one.

    None of us slept much on the plane. I watched Interstellar on and off, interspersed with crossword puzzles. Arrival and passport control at Nice-Côte d’Azur went smoothly, all our luggage came too. Ten minutes’ confusion about how to buy tickets for the tram to the train station, no problem buying train tickets to Menton, no problem walking to and letting ourselves into the AirBnb.

    A marriage note!

    I’ll get used to it, I always do, but as soon as the plane lands outside the English-speaking world (cue dolly zoom) a certain set of roles suddenly reverses. Normally, when we are traveling with the kids, by unspoken agreement and long habit, I manage children and Mark deals with car rental counters, ticket-buying, lost luggage offices, hotel maintenance complaints, etc. Generally, having conversations with the hostile bureaucracy of commerce.

    But we are in France, and I speak French well enough, and now all of that is my job! And I know it is my job but every single time when I first hear him say “Stand over here and wait with me, your mom’s going to go buy the train tickets” I am suddenly gobsmacked.

    I mean, I can buy the tickets, it’s not a problem, but the switch takes time to reset in my brain.

    + + +

    We rested, went out to get pastries, came back, I went grocery shopping for milk and cereal and jambon serrano and cheese and baguette and wine and fruit and yogurt. We rested, then hauled the kids up and outside to catch afternoon sun, bribing them with ice cream. I distributed medication doses carefully at predetermined times in accordance with a spreadsheet I had made before leaving. We went back, ate the dinner, drank the wine, went out for more ice cream. Back again, melatonin for all, and finally the long sleep.

    We assigned Leo to order ice cream with his one year of high school French. I stayed outside and waited on a bench so I wouldn’t be tempted to jump in and rescue him. He did fine. He’s pleasantly surprised at how well he can understand things.

    OK, my chausson de pommes and double espresso are gone now. I need to go buy a month’s worth of shampoo and shaving cream. Catch you later.


  • Mental note for transatlantic travel

    Do not assign any weight whatsoever to how people feel about the city, the room, the food, and/or whose idea even WAS it to come on this trip anyhow, until everyone has had a chance to sleep several hours in a row.

    In other words, remember that it is just the jet lag speaking.

    Signed, someone who has been almost entirely awake for 24 hours now and just walked back from a grocery store.


  • Eighteen hours to go.

    I never sleep well the night before a trip. Yesterday evening, too, I made the mistake of having a couple glasses of wine while hanging out with Mark and our college-senior son. So it isn’t surprising that I woke at 2:45 am and only dozed after that. Now it’s 6:30 and I am drinking coffee. Perhaps later I can pretend that the early waking was a preëmptive jet-lag strategy. Perhaps it means I will easily sleep on a plane later today.

    + + +

    Our local adult son has house-sitting duty, so that part isn’t it. Our new college freshman is installed at school and sounds great on the phone, so that part isn’t it. Our oldest, launched—no unusual concerns there. Our two youngest have proved themselves competent travelers in three recent less involved trips. So why am I feeling anxious this morning?

    I think there are a few things going on here.

    For one thing, this is the first major family trip that’s only this smaller part of our family: we are traveling as a family of four, not seven. Other than a weeklong trip to Boston in autumn 2019 without our oldest, all our longer trips have involved all our kids. It’s strange to be so few, and also, I’m used to having extra adults and older teens around to help with things.

    For another, we have fewer activities planned. Mark has to work some of the time. The boys have schoolwork, with a loose goal for how much to do each day. I have pre-arranged but not pre-scheduled one adventurous activity; I have one side trip in mind; Mark has an idea about a grand day out for himself. But that’s it. This particular trip, we are intentionally embracing the possibility that we will not do very much vacation-y stuff. We are intentionally remaining flexible, open, unscheduled. Which is very much not how I roll.

    I guess there’s also all the ordinary travel-day jitters. I know we checked and double checked, but do we really have all the passports? I know I counted out all the medications, but am I absolutely sure I counted out enough? I know Uber is normal and works but will the Uber really show up? I know it’s in the hands of the airline but will we make our connection? I know we have seats assigned together but will the airline switch them at the last minute and put the kids elsewhere? Look, none of those concerns will be soothed until we’re all actually buckled in on the big plane.

    At which point (I know from experience) this last part of the fretting will evaporate completely. It’s possible that when it does, it will take the other frets away with it, and I will sink into my seat and truly relax.

    So let’s get there!


  • Emptier nest.

    A week ago we delivered our third child to the college dorm out of state for freshman year. This particular kiddo, unlike numbers 1 and 2, graduated from a public high school, and was emancipated from family dinners some time ago for health reasons. So we are all somewhat accustomed to a house with one fewer person in it, a dinner table with one fewer place setting, than we might expect.

    It still feels a little extra quiet, a little more roomy. Mark and I designed this house for a large family to live compactly: four not-enormous bedrooms, two and a half baths, a playroom with climbing walls in the basement, a game room in the attic. The schoolroom had four little matching desks. The seven of us made it a little crowded there for the four years leading up to the oldest’s moving out. Now we are a Normal-Sized family of four, and there is plenty of room for everyone. The four little desks are long gone. I stacked the extra dining chair off to the side.

    I’m excited for the newest College Kid. There was a string of struggles getting all the necessary accommodations for a disability that gives on-campus student life some significant extra challenges. So I am not at all sad, just relieved that in the end most of it came together for a good start, and ready to turn my attention to the next phase: just two kids at home, one middle schooler, one high schooler, both learning outside a school.

    A room with a curtained window at the far end looking out on the street.  A white table with a half-finished painting project spread out.  Two comfy chairs in the foreground, on a round area rug the same color as the wood floor.  A countertop and cabinetry, a stuffed bookshelf, a map of France on the bulletin board.
    The schoolroom now, with no little desks in sight.

    So I have some hope that I might be able to pick up blogging a little bit in the next month or so. Right now I am sitting in my rocking chair doing something I never thought I would ever want to do: writing a blog post with my thumbs on my phone. I am practicing, you see. For the next month or so.

    + + +

    We started school at the beginning of August, but we only did half-school. The 10th grader started chemistry, civics (uffda), and a bit of English. The 6th grader worked sort of loosely on everything, with a little extra art. That was nice, a slow entry into the year, and we got just as far as I hoped we would in a month. Half-school makes it easy.

    In September, since we have already done half a month’s worth of school, we will do the other half (at least we will try). We will set aside the chemistry and civics, and the 10th grader will start geometry and French II. The 6th grader will buckle down a little less loosely to math and English and history and science.

    But we won’t be doing it at home. Those books are currently distributed among several suitcases. We’re about to try something totally new: taking school somewhere else. And also, taking only two of our kids, the oldest three off living their own lives (okay, two of them are doing it on our dime, but still) in places where they have keys and we don’t.

    I’ll try to keep up!


  • This blog will be moving.

    TypePad has announced it will be shutting down at the end of September.

    I've managed to get most of the stuff migrated to WordPress.  It's messy and barebones for now, and all my internal links are currently broken, but here it is:  http://bearingblog.com

    Good thing I already had that domain name ready to go!


  • Blogging on the move.

    Well, I haven’t made any posts since Christmas, and only a handful since the start of the pandemic, and here I am making three or four posts in the span of a day. Thanks, TypePad, for imploding and forcing my hand!

    It’s not that I haven’t had thoughts for the last five years or so. I even wrote some down! With a pen on paper. I think I just got, well, less certain that the words needed to get out there. I definitely became less comfortable with writing in order to figure things out —at least, where everyone can see. It seems fraught, these days, to let a half-formed idea out into the world; even in order to invite people of good will to critique and answer it, and so to help sharpen it through friction. Maybe because there seems to be less good will out there? Or more ill will. Certainly—as today’s local news indicates—there is something out there, unpredictable: what spasm next, responding to who-knows-what?

    + + +

    I perhaps ought to write about that, but don’t want to. It’s so close; I am bound to know someone touched by it. No one wants the national news turned on their own city for something this dire and awful. No one wants that kind of attention. None of us want people who don’t live here to tell us the reasons why it happened here, while they go on thinking that it cannot happen to them.

    + + +

    I had planned to pick the blog up for a few weeks here in September. We’ll see if I manage. Maybe the timing is good, this forced move to WordPress. Be patient with the formatting—I have to figure out what I am doing—and I will try to prioritize checking in here. Maybe you’ll see some photos.

    Thanks for visiting. Au revoir? No—à bientôt.


  • test post

    nothing to see here for now


  • In the process of moving (blog hosts that is)

    Apologies in advance for all the permanently broken links and missing images. My priority is to get the text moved over here.

    img_6404
    Morning.


  • It’s the end of Typepad as we know it

    Welcome to WordPress! This is your first post. Edit or delete it to take the first step in your blogging journey.

    I have a few days to figure this out.


  • Hello World!

    Welcome to WordPress! This is your first post. Edit or delete it to take the first step in your blogging journey.