bearing blog

Mark was away this morning, so I took the kids to Mass by myself.   On my way down the stairs I said a quick prayer to everybody’s guardian angels to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me get through Mass without needing to flee the room.

And the kids did do very well during Mass, but downstairs at coffee/donut time Milo took off running around the crowded room and I had to chase him down and catch him.  A series of struggles ensued in which I decided that he had forfeited the right to carry a certain bag back to the car, not so much as a punishment as a practical decision:  so that I would better be able to keep hold of his hand as we crossed the street.  (These jerking-away-and-fleeing episodes tend to come in groups.)

So there I was, standing by the exit, struggling to get Oscar into his coat and to keep Mary Jane from falling out of the sling and to hang on to flailing Milo shrieking at the top of his lungs:  "NO!  I WANT TO CARRY THE BAG!  I DON’T WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND!  I WILL WALK NEXT TO YOU!"  and trying to find out if it was possible to carry Milo (flailing) and Mary Jane at the same time.   

And along came a woman who was about to head out when she did a double take:  "Can I help you get to your car?"

I looked at my screaming kids, and at Oscar glaring at me, and briefly considered whether she might turn out to be the sort who would grab my baby and run away, rejected that (she had a teenage daughter with her), and said, "Um.  Thank you.  Yes."

She carried Mary Jane (who snuggled right into her neck to get away from the cold) and I carried Milo (who wept the whole way) and entertained me all the way to my car with stories of how once, when she had a three-year-old girl, the daughter unbuckled her seatbelt on the highway and jumped up and grabbed her (the mom’s) hair, yanking on her head while she was driving.    Then she helped me get MJ buckled into her seat while I hung on to Milo, and wished me a great day, and disappeared.  I was able to get Milo and myself into the minivan, out of the wind, where I could take my time calming him down before driving home.

Angels 1, temper 0.  Yes.

Ever since we bought the minivan a few months ago, Oscar and Milo have been riding in the "way back. " It feels so roomy, after being crammed into my sedan.  But I’d forgotten how nice it is to be close together, too.

For the last few days all three kids have been riding in the middle row because I’d folded down the back seat to transport some chairs and hadn’t put it back yet.  Oscar and I are now within shouting distance from each other. 

Wednesday on our way to Hannah’s, he asked me, "English comes from England and Spanish came from  Spain.  Where do they speak Latin?"  That began a 25-minute conversation about linguistics:  how babies once learned Latin from their mommies but not anymore; how Latin matured and became modern French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and Romansch; how English is not descended directly from Latin; why we have Latin words anyway; how the most people in the world speak Chinese, but people in the most countries speak English; how Spanish is the second most common language in our country; why Chinese and Japanese people do not use the Latin alphabet; how children in China learn to read and write; how the Chinese language is different from Latinate languages and from English.

(Finally, my very limited knowledge of Mandarin, which I acquired by playing with the Rosetta Stone software hosted at the county library, has come in handy.)

Thursday we found ourselves again driving to Hannah’s, and Oscar asked me:  "Mommy, if I want to be a saint, do I have to give away all my possessions?"  (He must have watched the CCC video about St. Francis recently.)  Thus began a 25-minute discussion about how St. Francis came to give away all his possessions; about how St. Frances Cabrini needed, not so much to give money away, but to acquire it, to do the work God was calling her to do, building hospitals and schools and such; about how Mother Cabrini didn’t actually use a hammer and saw to build the hospitals, instead she prayed and did important organizing and fund-raising work; about St. Jane Frances de Chantal, who became a saint in part by being a good wife and mother; about St. Joseph, who used his money and possessions to take care of his family.  Oscar said, "When I grow up I want to travel around the world giving money to many different kinds of people."  That began a discussion about listening to God for your vocation and how most people aren’t sure what their vocation is until they are grownups.  He pointed out that in the biography of Mother Cabrini we just read, little Francesca "Cecchina" Cabrini knew she wanted to be a missionary sister from the time she was nine years old.  Touche.  I told him I didn’t know for sure that my vocation was to be a mommy until I was about 23 years old.  And I told him about my friend J.P., who thought for a while that his vocation was to be a priest and then while he was in seminary he realized that it wasn’t that, and also about a priest we know who was a computer programmer for years before he figured out what his vocation was.

And then we got to Hannah’s and he ran off to play.

I think I’ll keep the boys in the middle row for a little bit longer.

"Woman who left preschool sons in car not charged:"

A Duluth woman who left her two young children in a parked car while temperatures were well below zero won’t be charged with child endangerment, authorities said.

Police said the woman left a 14-month-old boy and a 3-year-old boy in the car for about a half-hour Saturday after the vehicle wouldn’t start. The outside temperature was about 20 degrees below zero, and the youngest boy had early signs of frostbite on his finger tips when he was treated later at a hospital.

The children were taken from their mother, then returned Sunday, Deputy Police Chief John Beyer said.

"Was it potentially some poor parenting? Probably,” he said. "But she was distracted and once she noticed something was wrong she brought them in and sought medical attention. If this had happened two weeks ago when it was 32 above it would have been a non-issue.”

Based on the information available in the news stories, it’s not impossible to imagine something like this happening to my family.

Are my kids always well-dressed for the cold?  Usually, but it’s happened before that one kid or another has shed gloves or coat on his way out the door, and I haven’t noticed.  And since I expect my car to be warm and I expect it to be warm where I’m going, at times I have dressed my kids for those expectations.  Not for the possibility of the car failing.

Might my car fail to start?  It has before.  Kids leave the lights on sometimes.  Or the door doesn’t shut.

Might I forget my cell phone?  You bet.  Just yesterday it died on me when I forgot to charge it.

Might I, then, find myself in a cold, non-starting car with my children under-dressed for the cold weather outside and no way to call for help?  It’s possible.  Since the article doesn’t say where the car was, she might not have been visible to other drivers.

Might I, then, have to leave the car to get help?  Yes.

And might I decide that the children were safer in the car, sheltered at least from the wind, than walking with me outside?  Yes.

So yes, it could happen.

Moral to the story:  one obvious (hint:  Boy Scout Motto), one not so obvious (hint:  Matthew, chapter 7).

Now that we’re on day 3 of antibiotics, it’s time to turn to yeast prevention.  We’ve never been prone to yeast infections, so I’m not terribly concerned, but I’m going to take the easiest precautions anyway:

• ditch the baby wipes, replacing them with plain-water butt baths and cotton balls soaked in a mild vinegar solution;
• cloth diapers without covers while at home
• disposables when out, because
  • (a) throwing used diapers away will reduce contamination of the contents of my diaper bag, and
  • (b) water activity next to baby’s skin will be lower;
• buying a few more nursing bras so I can wear them only once and wash them in hot;
• yogurt, yogurt, yogurt.

She’s not herself yet but the medicine is staying down.  Hurray!  One week to go.

The last two antibiotics doses have stayed down.  I’m feeling more optimistic.

She is definitely feeling a little more herself, when she’s not sleeping.