I texted H yesterday “Let’s talk later,” and then spent some time with a pad and pencil. It’s difficult right now for me to concentrate; I kept looking up, reaching for my phone, putting it down again. I was trying to think: what, after all, is the point of going on with this school year?
But I have been writing, in various Twitter threads and Facebook discussions, comments to parents who find themselves suddenly supervising their children’s education at home. And in part because the act soothes me, I have been writing things like “It’s okay if you can’t keep up. Keeping up is a low priority. The distance learning tools the school sends you are resources to help you. Use them to help your kids have structure and a sense that the adults are taking care of them. Use them to help your kids stay connected with their classmates. Use them to reassure your kids that they are still doing what they are supposed to be doing. But when ‘keeping up’ becomes a source of stress, step back. You get to choose what works for your family.”
I don’t think we can “keep up” either, and I don’t think it actually matters in the end if, e.g., we finish the whole Latin book. (After all, every other kid in the country has been similarly disrupted.) What we need to do, I think, is just connect the dots from here till when This Whole Thing Is Over. We can pick up the pieces then, adjust; but these kids need time to get used to this new normal, time to grieve the experiences they have lost, time to make up for the extra stress that we are all living through. And if they aren’t feeling it, they may pick it up from us, and if they don’t pick it up from us, then we probably need that extra time too.
I just want them to feel that something normal is happening, and to relax into it and do the work we give them, to learn and have the satisfaction of learning. The dosage might have to be different. We all need more time.
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Giving ourselves enough time, I wrote at the top of the page, and What do we need? The first thing to make room for, I decided, was a nice big block of time to connect with friends. A dedicated time when they could use the computer or phone to play Minecraft or text other kids. I would ask H if we could coordinate the same time for that.
Everybody needs some exercise and fresh air. I would like to take a daily walk, as long as it is allowed. Backyard time for the younger two, maybe encourage the teens to run or to climb in the basement on the climbing wall.
The 16yo needs driving practice, if that is allowed. If we have a shelter in place order, it might not be. We will see.
The 13yo wants to bake cakes and cookies and make candy. I can make room for that, if we ever have a steady supply of groceries again.
I need time to write and connect with people. Early morning is fine.
In between all those things, what of the school can get done?
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I queried the teenagers and they both said they would prefer to meet me in the afternoon and be left to do independent work in the morning. Fine; I can concentrate on the younger boys in the morning. Perhaps the online connection time could be from eleven or so until two or so, with a hasty but simple lunch in the middle.
After I called H, and we discussed how it could work teaching each other’s kids over the phone, I went away again and made a plan.
Gone is our block schedule with all day Monday and all day Thursday working together, the other days working apart. Now we have set aside the hour from 2:30 to 3:30 each day, Monday to Friday, as remote checkin time. Some of the days it is H discussing English, first the teen boys (who are tenth graders) and then the teen girls (eighth and ninth grade). One of the days it is me checking in on the Latin students and then trying to do an abbreviated geometry lecture. One of the days it is split between us: some tenth grade English, some geometry. (And there is a single check-in she will do one morning with my fourth-grader.)
That decided, I returned to my schedule. While I teach the youngers, the teens have the morning to do independent work; the computer time starting in late morning can be a carrot, perhaps, to encourage them to complete a modest goal set at breakfast. The ten-year-old is adept at independent math, so that can be his post-lunch work. After the remote meeting block, I can check in with each of my teens in turn for their other subjects.
I am positive we will not be moving as fast as we were. I was having the teen boys complete two history assignments each week. I am only going to do one to start. I was doing geography twice a week with the 10yo. I believe that will drop to once as well. I think math can continue at about the same pace, but I won’t push too hard. And I honestly have no idea yet what I am going to dowith Latin, for which I relied heavily on our two ninety-minute sessions of intensive group work each week. I still have to figure out how to transition to a much more self-directed form of learning, becoming less teacher than tutor. But I have a plan for this coming week, not a very exciting one, but intended to give me time to come up with something better adapted to our current situation.
Maybe the whole thing will not work at all and we will have to try something else entirely. Who knows? But we owe it to them to do something, and owe it to ourselves, too, because too much nothing is not great for anyone.
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