Paternity.

Oct 24, 2012

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Some time ago I was complaining to Mark about the ladies in the mall who ask me when I troop by with my four children, “Are they all yours?”

He asked me, “You’re always talking about that. Does it really happen all that often?”

“Yes, it really does,” I insisted,”almost every time I go out in public where people have a chance to talk to me.”

I could tell he was skeptical, so I went on. “I guess people like to bother women about things like that more than men. You do the grocery shopping with them all every week — doesn’t anyone ever ask you if they are all yours?”

He replied dryly, “When it comes to fathers, the subtext of that question would be a bit different, don’t you think?”

I guess he has a point…

Comments

9 responses to “Paternity.”

Jenny

October 24, 2012

Fathers get the babysitting question. Ask how many times he has been asked, “Are you babysitting today?” As if he weren’t the father every day.

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Bearing

October 24, 2012

Wow, how disrespectful! I don’t think he has…

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Jenny

October 24, 2012

My husband takes the children grocery shopping all the time and he got that question on almost every trip until the grocery clerks got used to seeing him. I’ll bet your husband has been asked too…usually by an older woman.

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Tabitha

October 24, 2012

My husband’s response to that is “it’s actually parenting if they’re your kids!”

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Christy P.

October 25, 2012

The only thing surprising to me about the fact that you are asked if your kids are all yours is that they clearly look related and look like you. Take it kindly and assume positive intent i.e. “You look way too young and awesome to be the mother of both so many children and children who are so old” 🙂

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bearing

October 25, 2012

ChristyP, the best version I ever got of that was on my way down the stairs in the Y, headed for the childcare with my four in tow. I passed a cluster of women going up with yoga mats. I overheard one of them say to another, “Can you believe she has FOUR KIDS?!?” in a tone that definitely meant “Wow, she’s amazing!” I lived on that for weeks 🙂
But most of the time, it’s just a sort of… attempt at a joke, maybe? Small talk? Like Douglas Adams (I think) writes about a character (can’t remember who) who plays the cello or bass fiddle, constantly hearing “I bet you wished you played the piccolo!” it gets less-clever-sounding every time you hear it.

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Christy P.

October 25, 2012

Ford Prefect wonders if humans must continually engage their mouths to prevent their brains from beginning to work. This would help explain such common statements as “Gee, you’re very tall” (paraphrase)

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Bearing

October 25, 2012

Yes, that is quite close to the concept. In my case it is “gee, you have more than the average number of children.” indeed.

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Bearing

October 25, 2012

Found it – from The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul –
“I’m a private detective.”
“Oh?” said Kate in surprise, and then looked puzzled.
“Does that bother you?”
“It’s just that I have a friend who plays the double bass.”
“I see,” said Dirk.
“Whenever people meet him and he’s struggling around with it, they all say the same thing, and it drives him crazy. They all say, ‘I bet you wished you played the piccolo.’ Nobody ever works out that that’s what everybody else says. I was just trying to work out if there was something that everybody would always say to a private detective so that I could avoid saying it.”
“No. What happens is that everybody looks very shifty for a moment, and you got that very well.”

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