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Reader question.

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3 comments on Reader question.

A few days ago I posted about NFP:

Any readers who have decided to go the no-charts route, did you find that there was a development over the years of your gut-level understanding or acceptance of Church teaching on human sexuality and procreation, or do you think you already "got it" before you set off on that route?

Reader Erin in KY comments:

I am so glad you posted this question…

My husband and I have been practicing NFP for only the last 5 years of our 11 year marriage. The first 6 were contraceptive. We feel so strongly about this now that we give a talk at the Pre cana session for engaged couples. Since we give the talks about 2-3 times a year we have to sit down and discuss our talk. We have had many discussions on this very topic.

We don't have the experience of putting it all in God's hands and not charting, but we have definitely known the sacrifice of using NFP and have aligned ourselves with Christ in that sacrifice. Like you said it is something that has taken years to fully appreciate. Along those years we have also learned to more fully put our fertility in God's hands and we are hoping to conceive our fourth child soon!

Since this is something that takes time and experience to appreciate, if anyone has input that might make this message more clear for engaged couples please let me know.

I am also collaborating with the author of the training manual for marriage sponsor couple training in our diocese. Just to let you know the audience, this is a couple who most likely doesn't practice NFP having to teach an engaged couple what the church teaches. They will likely have to admit that they don't practice it. As it stands the current training manual just has a Catholic Update in the back on NFP…

I told them these couples are coming to the church for marriage, they should get the truth from the experience. Also, the sponsor couples cannot be forced to practice NFP, but if they are in the ministry of sponsoring couples in the church, I don't think it is unreasonable that they be forced to learn what the church teaches on marriage.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Personally, I think it's a warning sign when a diocese selects sponsor couples for marriage preparation who are in a state of active dissent on the Church's teaching of marital sexuality — let alone couples who don't even know what the Church teaches.  I applaud you for your efforts to improve the catechesis situation in your diocese.

Any suggestions, readers?

Comments

3 responses to “Reader question.”

  1. mandamum Avatar
    mandamum

    I would suggest having them read Humanae Vitae – it’s not long, and it’s eminently intelligible. I asked my (non-Catholic) husband to read HV before we were even engaged, so that he would know where I stood and could engage with the topic, and he found it sensible and readable. Instead of sticking a Catholic Update in the back, just stick the thin paperback Humanae Vitae from Pauline Media in there 🙂 (disclaimer: I am a mathematician, my husband is a scientist, and we took NFP classes from a fire safety engineer, so my experience may be more weighted toward intellectual argument than that of many of the couples your reader is addressing).

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  2. Barbara C. Avatar
    Barbara C.

    To be honest, I don’t know if our sponsor couple practiced NFP or not…probably not, though. Marital chastity was a topic that was just never addressed in any form.
    I don’t think sponsor couples should necessarily be asked if they use NFP, but they should definitely be expected to know the Church’s teaching on birth control, abortion, and marital chastity and uphold them in their role even if they privately disagree and/or do not practice them.
    I don’t think a lot of sponsor couples, though, really go through any vetting process or preparation. I think in some parishes they are just thankful to have couples willing to do it at all that they don’t get too picky.

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  3. Erin in KY Avatar
    Erin in KY

    Thank you for your responses. My husband and I were asked to speak for a few minutes on our experience with NFP in our sponsor couple training and I brought my little copy of HV just to let the other couples know it is a short read. The problem is we are in a highly concentrated Catholic area and not many have ever been challenged so many don’t know the faith. Couples would be responsible for purchasing their own copy to hand out, I don’t see that happening…However I could offer a link to an e copy…I want to teach the sponsor couples about their faith to arm them to teach these engaged couples and hopefully everyone has a stronger marriage and we have a stronger community, etc, etc! Please send my more ideas!!! The meeting is next Wednesday.

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