Wednesday I was so tired I took a nap around 9:30 AM. When I pushed myself up to a sitting position a couple of hours later, I suddenly dissolved into tears and couldn't figure out why. I was frustrated that I hadn't been able to get much done that day, but I didn't think I was that frustrated. A few hours later, when the crying wouldn't stop, I decided I had had some kind of hormone dump into my bloodstream. Whatever was going on, it had more to do with what was happening in my body than what was happening in either the world outside or in my mind.
Maybe it's to a fault, but I tend to regard a lot of the more intense parts of my emotional life as exterior to my thinking, being self, the part I can exercise my will over.
Whatever — the rest of Wednesday and most of yesterday I declared a mental health day. I decided that the stuff on Wednesday hadn't got done because I was having a "sick day." Thus classified, the frustration evaporated (I'm allowed to get sick, after all). I called Hannah and requested a change of plans — could she host us on Thursday instead of me hosting her and Melissa? Of course she said yes (thank goodness, I still felt yucky and I just couldn't face readying the house for everybody).
Then, Thursday: I took my time getting ready; took the kids out for pancakes (I had a giant Mexican scrambled eggs with nopalitos and corn tortillas, myself); went over to Hannah's; had tea; read to the three oldest children from a fantastic and riveting book about the Monroe doctrine (no kidding); didn't do any other schoolwork stuff; drove home to meet Mark; went with the family to a show at the Children's Theatre Company; and went out for a late supper.
Just what I needed.
Meanwhile, I had contractions ALL DAY LONG. They intensified throughout the day, so that by the time we sent the kids to bed, they made me gasp. But they never turned regular, you know, so many minutes apart and lasting so long. So I got the distinct impression I wasn't going into labor. They kept going all night, or at least until about 3 AM. I slept between them and maybe even through some.
This morning I'm pretty tired. But the baby has definitely dropped. I figured that out when I got up to go to the bathroom in the wee hours. My moment of rotational inertia appears to have decreased significantly.
I haven't yet decided what kind of day I need to have today.
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