A few months ago I got an e-mail from a reader which I meant to turn into a blog post:
Right now I am having a *really* hard time getting anything done in terms of housework, cooking, and homeschooling because my youngest is so demanding. We're managing, and my kids are still ahead of their peers, but I'm just seeking some reassurance that I'll be able to focus a little better as the baby gets older, and/or some tips on making the most of my time. The youngest will soon be transitioning to one nap, and I guess I will have to really plan ahead well so that I can use that time both for "schoolwork" and dinner preparation.
But since you seem to have a few more things figured out than I do, I'd love to hear about some of your strategies for time management and staying on track!
Here's some of what I wrote back:
The first thing you need to know is that I love to make lists and have good ideas more than I love to clean and pick up. So if you imagine that because I wrote a cool list or two, I must have a really neat and tidy house and must be really organized, well, that's just not so. I think I am tidier than average, and I think part of this is because clutter bothers me, so I am pretty well in the habit of doing a quick tidy-up of all the parts of the house I can SEE before I attack anything that requires my brain, such as schooling.
Here are a few thoughts that come to mind…
— Thought one. Don't count on the naps. It is a trap. Never plan your day so that anything essential has to get done "during nap time." The exception, I guess, is if you have successfully trained your baby to go down for naps at set times (e.g., you plunk them in a crib and walk away for 90 minutes). Eventually, naps change, and some days they don't happen, and some days they happen earlier or later than you want.
— Thought two. Streamline, streamline, streamline. The easiest place to streamline is dinner preparation. I love to cook. I used to make elaborate meals several days a week, and revel in discovering new techniques, tools, and exotic new ingredients. I still cook that way on weekends sometimes, but now I revel in discovering ways to make dinner simple while still enjoying the variety that keeps it interesting for me. I have a dinner planning algorithm on my blog that you can check out if you want — the key is, when planning ahead, to match the type of cooking (cold sandwiches? quick pasta? slow cooker?) with the kind of day you are expecting. A lot of people think of ingredients first, but for efficiency, it's best to think first of the kind of cooking you have time and opportunity for. (Another excellent series on menu planning is hosted by Leila at Like Mother, Like Daughter — check out the right sidebar for the complete list of posts and worksheets.)
A bonus you get from dinner streamlining is that with a little advance planning you can give yourself a whole week or two of extremely simple and quick meals — very nice for the first two weeks of school, or for spring cleaning, or just to help you feel like you've got a handle on things. Think of all the things you
can make: What recipes do you know that are the least work for a day when you're home all day and busy — maybe a pot of soup that just needs stirring every once in a while? How about recipes that require NO work
during the hour right before dinner (casseroles baking in the oven?) What if you're gone all day running errands? What if you've got time to make dinner in the morning but not in the late afternoon? See what I
mean? Tailor the dinner to the rest of your life, don't match your life to suit your dinner.
— Thought three. You can also streamline housekeeping. I love Flylady from the bottom of my heart, but honey, I'm NEVER going to clean out the light diffusing globes on my ceiling. Develop (over time) a BARE MINIMUM LIST. What is the bare minimum to keep visitors from passing out and CPS from taking your children? What is the bare minimum that preserves your marriage and keeps you from going crazy? Know what it is. And when life gets hectic, cut back to that minimum.
For me, I do almost nothing that doesn't fit into these categories:
- it removes filth (i.e., anything germy, rotting, or that attracts insects);
- it keeps things in *necessary order* (i.e., if I need to find it, it needs to be in place; if I need to work there, I need a clear space –hey that rhymes!);
- if I don't do it it drives me or my husband crazy;
- I need to teach the children to do it, by example or by direct instruction.
My daily goals are something like, do one load of laundry; everybody makes their beds; stay on top of the kitchen; wipe down each bathroom. And my husband and I clean the kitchen and tidy the first floor each
night when the boys are in bed, sometimes over a glass of wine, as we catch up with each other about our day.
One thing that makes life a lot easier for me now, and that will probably happen for you in time, is that my 8yo is capable of doing much of his schoolwork independently. I have it arranged so that 3 days a week I give him a to-do list (in fact, my school record book is just a bunch of bound to-do lists!) and he is supposed to do almost all of his work by himself, coming to me with questions or to have the work
checked. When he comes to me, I do my level best to put down what I'm doing and attend to him immediately. (The other two days a week I work with him more directly on subjects that require more interaction.) My 5yo needs short bursts (20 min) of my full attention several times a day, and I fit those in when I can, usually one of them in the early morning because he and I are the early birds of the family.
And I haven't yet mentioned that my big vice is relying on videos for the others when I absolutely need to grab one on one time with one of the children. I try to have videos around that don't make me feel too
guilty — nature movies, Signing Time, etc.
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