I never laid any of my babies in a crib, not even once. I never bought a crib, never had one in the house; I never had a stroller either. Each newborn, each infant, slept in my arms, in the warmth of my own bed, or snugged next to my heart. That is the natural, normal, place for mother and new, tiny infant: together, skin on skin, all the time at first; as the weeks and months and years go by, other arms are fine for a time, other beds; but the littlest ones and their mothers are by human design meant to be together.
Once we all knew it, right? It’s modern culture that has us putting babies in cribs, right?
Sunday was Epiphany. What’s up with the manger then?
I know about the symbolism. He who was to be Bread of Life, Food for the world, is found in a food bin. On the practical side, it made him easier for the shepherds to locate. "Wrapped in swaddling clothes" isn’t very specific when you’re looking for a baby in a crowded city. Adding the manger detail really narrowed it down.
Still, though, what with Mary being the feminine ideal in Catholic culture, the scene is maybe a little disconcerting to attachment parents. She gives birth to God and then she goes and puts the baby in a crib. What are we supposed to think? It seems almost like a repudiation of what we know, that the natural place of a baby is in his (or His) mother’s arms. It is their nature to be together.
Except. This is not an ordinary Baby. Christ has two natures, and His mother has two relationships to Him. One, her natural relationship, her motherhood to His human nature. With it He is rightfully in her arms:
Mt 2:9-11. And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Two, her destiny as mother to Him in his divine nature: to let go, to give up, to place Him upon the wood in adoration and holy awe:
Lk 2:15-17. When the angels went away from them to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." So they went in haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child.
Mothers who have had newborns, who have kept them close, who know the peculiar rightness of the feeling of the baby in your arms and the peculiar wrongness and emptiness when the baby’s not in your arms — however much I needed to sleep, however welcome the words "Here, let me take her for a while and let you rest," I always felt that emptiness for an instant — for you there is a special contemplation in the words laid him in a manger. It is not the natural place for her to put her son, and Mary knows it, and we know it too.
UPDATE. I received an e-mail pointing out that Jesus was swaddled, not skin on skin, and that swaddling was the norm. I don’t know if swaddling has ever been universally the norm, or indeed if it was specifically the norm for first-century Palestine, or not. Anyway, this post is about the manger, not really the swaddling clothes. Though I’m sure there’s some fruit for contemplation there too.
UPDATE AGAIN: Okay, okay, judging by the volume and general tone of my e-mail on this one (where are you all coming from?) clearly I am going nowhere with this one (okay, one person said she liked it). Many of you have made very good points (not counting the people who say I think I’m a better mother than the Blessed Virgin — that’s just ridiculous), and I hereby withdraw it from the category of "something for everyone to contemplate" and place it back into "well, it helped ME, but YMMV."
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