Speaking of gender and hairstyles, John of J. D. Carriere challenged the rest of us involved in a recent discussion of gender, clothing, and hairstyles (as they relate to the theology of the body) to come up with an answer — other than vanity — to the question "What use has a man got for a ponytail?"
The blogless James Fitzgerald managed some — why, he even managed ten! — which I’m reposting here with permission. According to James, the top ten reasons for a man-tail are as follows:
– A ponytail avoids all this silly dashing to the hairdressers for the monthly trim and chat about the weather.
– No need for the Carryhair-products (apparently John, whose last name is Carriere, peddles girls’ cosmetics or something — bearing) as all is ‘au naturel’.
– You get to look a bit more like icons of ‘Christ Pantokrater’ (also portrayed with ponytail of sorts) than if you were to go for the JDCarriere short backandsides, French crop on top.
– They are an evangelistic tool as you get mistaken for Jesus regularly, which leads to conversations about Him more often.
– It avoids all need to ‘style’ to tame the outofbed look. Just tie back, and go.
– Ponytails are great for wiping crumbs away from mouth area, if there is no serviette.
– They keep the back of your neck warm, saving those poofy scarves.
– they can work as a tassle on the end of a chotki (Byzantine prayer rope)…to mop up your tears, when weeping because of your sins. Vital for when your chotki has gone missing.
– they can be so positioned to cover up areas of thinning hair, and therefore avoid vain comb-overs. (I am still trying to imagine this — bearing)
– They increase your attractiveness to your wife, making marital relations more regluar, thereby promoting more conceptions and thus increasing the numbers of catholics in the world.
Ponytails are therefore a must-have for all radical male Catholics.
If you say so, James. Stop by again soon…
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