I picked up Oscar from his last day at reptiles’n’amphibians camp. Saw one mom pushing a stroller with what looked like a four-year-old girl in it. Maybe five. I know I am not the first to observe this, but… how does it come to this?
There are times when I understand. It takes a long time to get a 2.5-year-old out of a store full of interesting objects without yanking by the arm or picking him up to carry him. If he’s buckled up in a stroller, you can (theoretically) whisk in and whisk out at nearly the speed of a lone grownup. (That is, if you’re not knocking all the displays over in your haste, and you don’t get stuck in any revolving doors.) It takes time and patience to say "ok, come on, we’re going," to gently disentangle little fingers from some enticing shelved thing, to walk a few paces ahead and wait for a little one to notice you’ve gotten away from him, to run and catch up. And then there’s the risk that, despite all your careful admonitions, you’ll turn around after just one second and find an entire section of stuff scattered on the floor.
I know that. This is why the little ones are always in the sling in stores, until they get big enough that it’s more comfortable to let them ride in the cart, if there is one. Most other places, once they can walk, they do. I hold their hands, and they walk.
And so I suppose if you get used to the stroller, you just… at some point… might get to where you don’t know how you can control your child, or get the shopping done in a "reasonable" amount of time, or how you can get them home, without one.
I’ve never owned one, not even a ten-dollar umbrella stroller. I’m convinced that for most of us they do more harm than good. Five-year-olds can walk miles, if they’re used to it; it’s sad to see one who apparently can’t walk a hundred yards from the car to the building. And think how much less congested sidewalks, malls, street festivals, parks would be without those blasted buggies running over toes and bumping into backsides.
Instead, while the little walkers are developing their endurance, I’ve worn an easy-to-use sling, popping them in and out as they need. Over time they walk more and are carried less. I learn too: My incentive to encourage them to walk, and to teach them to "behave" in a store at ground level, grows as they get heavier. Eventually I hardly bring the sling with me at all (there’s usually one in the car though.)
I can envision several circumstances that justify regular stroller use.
- Jogging strollers. If a parent’s going to get real exercise, most small kids won’t be able to keep up until they’re riding a bike.
- Physically handicapped children. Most children who are made to walk will develop endurance comparable to that of an adult. But some won’t be able to, because of musculoskeletal abnormalities, asthma, or some other condition. After they’ve reached their limit, a stroller might sometimes be the answer.
- Physically handicapped moms. Most of us who get used to walking with kids will learn how to get a child to come with us, most of the time. Most of us who regularly carry our children, in arms or in slings, will be strong enough to pick them up and "make an escape" even if a child flops to the ground and completely refuses to walk. But not all of us can count on being able to carry a child as far as we might have to. (Pregnancy can count here, although I’ve managed to use a back carrier in late pregnancy without much difficulty.)
- Two babies very close together, so that the new one comes along while the older one is still learning endurance and needs a lot of time in the sling. It’s possible to sling two babies, or carry one on back and one on front, but I consider that an extraordinary measure for most parents. A newborn needs to be in the sling almost constantly, but after a few months the children can take turns. I’d still be pretty wary about letting the older child ride in the stroller too much.
- ADDED: In the comments, Jamie points out that when you’re trying to minimize the use of your car, the stroller can become more useful. One point to Jamie!
Yeah — that’s really all I can come up with. I honestly can’t think of a situation other than these in which I’d rather have a stroller than a sling or other body carrier. There’s something about them that’s so much sleeker than bumbling around pushing one of those things.
It helps to have a variety of slings and carriers. The ones I have that get the most use are the Mexican rebozo, the Maya Wrap, the Didymos, the Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch, and our Kelty Expedition (although it’s only my husband who carries that one — doesn’t fit me very well). I have a few other slings but these get the bulk of the business. Notice that they all have different functions. I am not much of a fashion plate, but if I were I would have a variety of colors and patterns as well. I have more than one shirt; why not have more than one sling?
bearing blog 