A few Lents ago, I chose Dorothy Day’s diaries and letters for my daily reading. I occasionally posted snippets to Facebook, which means these come up in my “memories” every February and March.
Here’s the one that popped up for today, on a date that wasn’t Ash Wednesday that year, but still a good sentiment for me personally as I set out to begin Lent.
“Bertha says I am gruff and indifferent to people (she means when I come off the platform or am meeting a mass of them at a time). She rightly points out that we are trying to change people’s attitudes, to create understanding….
So I must learn to be more cordial to people and overcome that immense sense of weariness and even impatience when people, quite sincerely, tell me they enjoy my books, how interested they are in my work. Miss Jordan told me I look at people as tho they were going to steal 5 minutes of my time! It makes me unhappy to give such an impression, I feel as tho I had failed people again and again…
I must do better, guard myself rigidly, control my fatigue…
I’ll just have to work every day at it.
These hours on trains or bus are so precious—to be alone for a short while, it is a complete relaxation, a joy…
I am an unprofitable servant and must begin over again right now to change myself.
God help me.”
—Dorothy Day, diary entry, 15 Mar 1940
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