Maintenance: Will change help? (Acceptance #5)

(First post.  Second post.  Third post. Fourth post.)

In my last post I wrote about all the anxiety I've been having surrounding maintenance of my weight right now.  I decided to take my own advice, step back, and go through the process of discernment that I outlined.  The first step is to accept reality:  to look objectively at what's going on. 

As I wrote in the last post, the anxiety isn't causeless.  My habits are indeed slipping from desirable ones to undesirable ones.  My weight has changed just a bit, to a slightly higher (but still healthy) number; but it's clear that my attention is misplaced.  

• I am anxious about my weight number, even though
  •  I cannot directly control it; and 
  •  in any case it might be a perfectly healthy number for me.
• At the same time I am ignoring the slow infiltration of old habits, even though
  • I can directly control them; and
  • I already know they are not healthy habits for me.

That's the reality that I accept.  

Let's see, what's the next step in my process of discernment…  "Judge whether a change offers benefits."

Heck yeah.  I managed to gain all that willpower and lose all my weight when I concentrated my effort on the habits.  I never really did manage to stop being anxious about the number on the scale, but by emphasizing the habits rather than the numbers I was at least able to keep from getting discouraged.  I could see myself getting better at self-control, and that was incredibly heartening.  

So I'm not entirely sure whether it would benefit me to stop worrying about the numbers, but I am quite certain I would benefit by exerting effort, once again, on habits.   

I think it's interesting that when I consider making a change at this level, it's the change in attitude and focus — not a change in eating.  I think that might have been part of the reason I've been feeling so frustrated, with so many false starts — I've been trying to jump right back to "ZOMG must stick to my habits!!!!"  I never considered where my efforts will reap the most rewards.  And I never considered whether some of the habits that were useful in my first maintenance period might not be so useful anymore, now that I have four children including one toddler.