Small thankfulness for the day.

I was reflecting on the gifts we've received as a family, and about how many blessings have come to us, we believe, as fruits of our decisions to live the Church's teachings on marriage and family life.   

It came to me that one of the greatest gifts we have both received is the gift of having become thoroughly, personally, and completely convinced of the truth of those teachings.  Being totally convinced (for example) of the rightness of rejecting contraception, of embracing NFP even though it's sometimes confusing and sometimes demands a lot of abstinence—well, being totally convinced that it's right makes it, well, not actually all that difficult to live by it, even during the tougher times like postpartum return of fertility.   I'm not saying that it's never annoying.  I'm just saying that it's almost impossible for us to imagine choosing to go against the Church's rules on the subject.  We're convinced.

And it occurred to me that this is something to be thankful for.  Because not everybody is convinced, obviously.  We NFP backers often write as if all the world needs is better catechesis, and as soon as everyone understands why the Church teaches what she does, everyone will see the wisdom in it and the problem of widespread contraception (at least among Catholics) will go away.  But this is pretty naive, and it also puts all the onus on people's power of logic and persuasion; it doesn't leave room for God to work in people's hearts.   Don't you know people who were very well catechized, but make other choices because they could not be personally convinced? 

It struck me that complete personal conversion of the intellect is a gift of grace, sort of like consolation in prayer.  Some people receive it, and some people don't.  Many of the greatest saints have gone through long dry periods of prayer without consolation.  

When we realize that personal conversion of the intellect is a gift, we can admire all the more the many people who keep the Church's teachings out of pure obedience, despite being unconvinced; despite struggling to understand why such a thing is necessary, and never coming to a satisfactory answer.  In my online writings and discussions with NFP and FAM users, I have encountered more than a few who are willing to come right out and say, "If the Church changed its teaching on this, we'd do something different immediately.  We only put up with the ban on contraception because it's required."  I think that's got to be a lot more difficult, and so more admirable, than obeying because/and, because we're supposed to and because we are convinced that it's right and good and best.

So.  Thankfulness for the gift of intellectual certainty, without which many of us would surely fall away.  And compassion and prayers for those who struggle with honest uncertainty, for whom being taught all the "right" answers isn't enough.