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New cravings.

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2 comments on New cravings.

Something has happened to me:  something I've only heard about, something I never thought could possibly be real, something I never believed in.

It took a good full year, but I guess some turning point has been reached.

I am finding myself looking forward to — no, wanting — no, craving — my next chance to go to the gym and swim or even run.  I think about it the way I think about the next chance I have to go by myself to sit in a coffee shop for an hour or two and read a book or catch up on email.  I cannot wait to exercise.

No way!

Way.

I knew, sort of, that I didn't hate exercise any more.  But it still took me by surprise when I realized that for the last couple of weeks, every single day, at some point, I've thought to myself, "I can't wait to get to the gym."  I get this sort of prickly feeling all over my scalp, and as I'm rubbing my head I can almost feel how good it would be to dive into the pool, to let the water, warm for winter, close over head, shoulders, knees, toes.  I get this restless sensation in my limbs and as I stretch I think how great it would be to get on the treadmill and just start running.

 Something, something new, makes me wake up on Mondays/Thursdays/Saturdays, happy because I get to go to the gym today; makes me wake up on other days a little bit disappointed because it's not my day to go. 

What was it?  What made this happen?  Was it the switch, recently, from two workouts a week to "two or three?"

Or did it finally sink through my thick skull that, even though the physical sensations of running or of swimming hard aren't exactly comfy… each workout is forty minutes or an hour that I have chosen, forty minutes or an hour of quiet inside my own head.  Something I have always thrived on and craved, the chance to focus and to think clearly. 

 For years, exercise was something that I expected would take me away from that, take my time away from me.  But now, in my busy life as a mother, homeschooler, wife, homemaker: exercise (now that I've set it up to be this way, and thanks to my husband and the wonderful staff at the Twin Cities YMCA) is time reclaimed. 

 Sometimes it's a genuine break.

I can't believe that it never occurred to me before that taking time to exercise might feel like a break, but there you go, it does now.  And I'm beginning to wish I could have that break every single day.

Comments

2 responses to “New cravings.”

  1. 4ddintx Avatar
    4ddintx

    Erin, I’ve been following your whole journey into slimness and exercise and am so impressed. It has given me lots of food for thought and I’ll comment more when I get the chance. This thing about the exercise is amazing to me, though. The last time I worked out regularly was when my second child was little (she’s 8 now). Since #6 came along 7 weeks ago, I find myself wanting to move and to do some exercise. I know I need to go with that really soon or it might go away! I haven’t managed to add that into the busy schedule of new baby, homeschooling, running kids to activities. Any ideas on how to work it in with a newborn? I have a treadmill at home, but don’t really like that.
    I’m so impressed with the craving for exercise, though. I so want to have that…

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  2. Erin Arlinghaus Avatar
    Erin Arlinghaus

    I only have 3 kids, so take this one with a grain of salt.
    I think one of the reasons I had success this time was that I did not try to “work it in.” I didn’t try to fit a treadmill run in between laundry and music lessons. I had tried that before and it just didn’t click, I guess because “fitting it in somewhere” didn’t help me change my self image from someone who “works out sometimes when I can find the time” into someone who “regularly exercises.”
    Instead, for the first time in my life, I gave exercise — just twice a week, because that’s all the time I could spare — its own scheduled, sacred appointment into my week. I could not have done it without my husband’s commitment that we WOULD make it happen. He watched the kids twice a week for me while I went to the gym. That’s how it worked.
    I don’t think there are easy answers. My answer was a hard answer. I couldn’t fit it in to my old life. I had to change my whole life to make it work. I had to change ME.

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