Fr. Z. at What does the Prayer Really Say? has an important post reacting to a newspaper story that described a "celebratory" funeral Mass for a Cincinnati-area priest.
Catholic funerals have gone the way of Catholic weddings: People have certain expectations of what a "funeral" should be like, and these days a funeral is supposed to be a celebration of the life of the deceased. That's the way that TV funerals have gone, and that's the way that design-your-own funerals have gone.
As usual, the way we Catholics do it — or at least the way we are supposed to do it — clashes with the fashions of the day.
- A funeral Mass is still a Mass. As such, its purpose is not to celebrate the life of the deceased. We have a means to celebrate the life of the deceased. It is called a "wake." It happens BEFORE the funeral.
- It is not okay to assume that the deceased is already in heaven. By all means let's hope he or she has made it there, no matter what we know or don't know about how the deceased spent his or her life/last moments. But (a) let's not give the impression, by saying "he's in heaven now" about everybody who dies no matter what, that everybody will be in heaven after he dies no matter what; (b) let's not forget to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. We believe it makes a difference.
Does this come from the wider American Protestant culture, in which praying for the dead is frowned upon (not exactly sure why — maybe I've got a reader who can explain it)? Or is it just a kind of politeness? ("If we suggested that we should pray for the repose of his/her soul, we'd be telling the family that we think the deceased is not exactly a saint. Better just smile and say "He's in a better place now.") Or does it come from the expectations created by movies and TV shows, just as people are sometimes surprised not to hear "speak now or forever hold your peace" or "you may now kiss the bride" or Mendelssohn's Wedding March at real Catholic weddings?
Fr. Z's post reminded me that when we pray for "the poor souls in Purgatory who have no one to pray for them," these days, we might well be praying for people who had hundreds of mourners at their funerals.
Sheesh. Hey everyone: If I die suddenly, let's do the black vestments, the requiem, the whole shebang. Get me a month of Gregorian masses! And don't forget I'll need all the help (prayers) I can get.
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