Logistics.

Melissa:  "I was thinking about signing L.  [her nearly-six-year-old] up for harp lessons in the fall.  The teacher’s about a mile away from you.  Would you be open to watching my other kids for an hour once a week while I take her to lessons?"

Me:  "Hmmm.  We’ll have to get together with Hannah and talk about how to make the schedule more efficient.  Whatever day it is, we could make that day the day when all three of us get together.  Or you could make it the day that Hannah’s over at my house."

Melissa:  "Oh, those are good ideas.  If it’s on Thursday we could make that our three-family day, and then it would be pretty easy for Hannah and I and the kids to leave from your house to St. Paul for the Irish dance lessons.  We’d all be on the same side of the city then."

Me:  "Yes, that would probably be the most efficient.  Might be too busy for you to relax much those days, though."

Melissa [makes face]

Me:  "Well, does the teacher give classes in the evenings?"

Melissa:  "I don’t know.  Chris [her husband] really wants me to cut back on lessons and things in the evenings because our family time is already stretched enough."

Me: "OK, well you could have your whole family come over to our house one evening a week while you take L. to the lesson.  Chris and Mark could play chess or board games with the kids or something.  Then it’d feel more like family time."

Melissa:  "Ooh, that could work!"

Me:  "Although it’d probably have to be not on an evening when we have swim lessons.  Although I can move those around some, they can be on Tuesdays or Thursdays or Saturdays.  And on Wednesdays Oscar will have religious ed classes.  Maybe, I mean, we haven’t decided for sure whether to do the classes next year or just teach him at home."

Melissa:  "Okay, well, how open are you to having the kids for one hour just, you know, on the days when you’re just home with your own family?"

Me:  "Mm.  Well.  You know, Melissa, I work very hard to keep my days that we’re with the other families down to two per week."

Melissa:  "I know."

Me:  "So if I agree to watch your kids for an hour on, like, a Wednesday, it has to be an hour."

Melissa:  "It would be.  Just an hour."

Me:  "You can’t come in and have a cup of tea and a chat."

Melissa:  "I don’t want that either! I have my own things to do at home and M. to teach and… why are you laughing?"

Me: …

Melissa:  "What’s so funny?"

Me: …

Melissa: …

Me:  "Because we’re such good friends that we can have a conversation that goes, ‘I don’t want to invite you in for a cup of tea!’ and ‘Don’t worry, I don’t want to have tea with you either!’"