CVBS edition.

Minnesota Mom Margaret prodded me to cover my morning’s activities:  volunteering in the nursery (for other volunteers’ children) at our parish CVBS.  That’s Catholic Vacation Bible School, friends.  Don’t forget the C.

Edifying, she says.  Make it edifying.   [clears throat]

EDIFICATION NUMBER ONE.  Dry erase markers are nice to have for small children to write on the whiteboard.  Sharpies are nice to have for the volunteers to trace around beaming children posed on their back on giant sheets of paper.  It is less nice to have both of them at the same time, because it takes a while for you to realize that little Stanislaus is scribbling all over the whiteboard with a Sharpie.

EDIFICATION NUMBER TWO.   If you act quickly, black Sharpie can be removed from a whiteboard with Clorox wipes.

EDIFICATION NUMBER THREE.  When two men appear at the door of your room of twenty-two children with an extra table at ten-fifteen, one should not exclaim, "Oh good, just in time for snack!"  Because twenty-two children will hear "blah blah blah blah time for snack!"  And then, dear volunteer, you will have some ‘splainin’ to do.

EDIFICATION NUMBER FOUR.  There are approximately twenty Barnums Animal Crackers per box, not counting broken ones (and believe me, you should not count them). 

EDIFICATION NUMBER FIVE.  On the other hand, the broken ones aren’t too bad when dipped in a cup of black coffee.

EDIFICATION NUMBER SIX.  Yes, there is a whole box full of books over there to look at, but there is only one featuring Thomas the Tank Engine.  And that is what matters.

EDIFICATION NUMBER SEVEN.  You really only need one Circle Time song.  And it goes like this:  Hel-lo [name of child].  How are you today?  Stand up [name of child], stand up if you may.  [applause].  Repeat. 

EDIFICATION NUMBER EIGHT.  If there are twenty-two children, it takes a while to find out which one needs a diaper change.  And you generally don’t find out until someone has volunteered to crawl around on the floor sniffing.

EDIFICATION NUMBER NINE.  The little babies sometimes have an easier time being away from Mom than some of the bigger kids do.  (One little sweetie curled up in my sling and fell asleep, just as easy as pie.)

EDIFICATION NUMBER TEN.  You’ve gotta station someone by the door at all times.  A few will always try to make a break for it. 

EDIFICATION NUMBER ELEVEN.  Pick up time — when parents are actually there to watch us, natch — is the hardest part of the day.  For every child that, duly checked out, is trooping out the door hand in hand with her mom, one is straining against my arm trying to run down the hall, another is trying to squeeze out between my ankles, two big brothers are pushing in announcing "My mom sent me to get my baby sister," separate bevies of little girls are wriggling in and out to "visit the babies," and one child (last time I checked it was my daughter, but you never know) is hanging off my left breast.

EDIFICATION NUMBER TWELVE.  Amazingly, the volunteers in the other rooms — who actually had to, you know, teach a class, which I hear requires actual preparation — lavish us nursery volunteers with praise:  "wow, you’re braver than me. "  "Thanks for all the hard work you’re doing. "   And I’m thinking — here I thought I was getting off easy.  I checked "nursery" because I can do it and still stay with my own little ones!   

More tomorrow, I hope!