No guilt allowed.

Good post on guilt at Family Scholars Blog:

For a long time in our culture we have focussed on adult rights and freedoms, which strangely enough carry new burdens of responsibilty for the child. The wise, resilient, and oh so competent children of divorce, are expected to cope and take responsibility for “looking after” and protecting the feelings of the oh so vulnerable adult against a bad conscience. And to remain silent about their own experience. Or to put it another way, there is a role reversal of responsibilty between the adult and the child.

Guilt is the card that out trumps any other. There is no greater social sin than to raise issues that makes someone, somewhere feel guilty. And the moral focus then shifts to the question of the words that create guilt, rather than the actions, which created the guilt in the first place. It also changes the spotlight from the social problem to the person who raises the issue- shooting the messenger.