Mistakes.

Today, towards the end of schoolwork, Oscar burst into tears and threw his math worksheet on the floor.

What is it?  I came over to look.  He shook his head and pointed.  Under the direction "Color the triangles red," he had colored the first shape — a square.  It’s okay, I said.  You know what the right answer is.   Just exx it out, and then you can do the rest of them.  It’s not a big deal.  But he kept sobbing and crying that his paper was ruined.

I gathered him up in my arms.  Honey, you made a mistake.  That’s all — just a mistake.  It doesn’t mean your whole paper is bad — you’ve already done a lot of good work on that paper.  People make mistakes all the time.  Don’t I?  I searched my memory for an example.  What if I put too much salt in the soup?  Should I just throw all the soup away?

He said, no.  I guess you would just eat it anyway.

Bad example, I guess.  Well, first I would try to fix it.   I wouldn’t throw it away, because there’s still good stuff in there.

He sniffled.  When I make a mistake, it makes me think that I am a bad boy.

Where did he get that idea?  Carefully now; don’t want him to think that good work doesn’t matter, but at the same time, that coloring a square instead of a triangle is not going to land him in San Quentin.  Oh, that’s not right.  You are a good person.  Everybody makes mistakes.  Even really good people make mistakes. 

I pulled back so I could look in his eyes.  It is important, very important, to try to do your work well.  But that doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes.  And it’s okay to make mistakes.  The important thing — do you know what’s the most important thing about making mistakes?  Can you guess?

What?

The most important thing is — well, two things.  First of all, to see when you’ve made a mistake and to try to fix it if you can.   Second, to remember when you’ve made a mistake, and then you can try not to do it again.

He put his head on my shoulder and was quiet for a while.  When he spoke, he said:  I think that people who don’t want to please God don’t care about their mistakes.

Maybe so.  It’s good to care about your mistakes.  But you mustn’t let that stop you from doing things.  Now, what will we do about your paper?

I don’t know.  It’s messed up.

I think there are two things you can do when you make a mistake on a math worksheet, I offered.  You could try to erase it, if you can.  Or you could just exx it out.

I can’t erase the crayon, he murmured.   I was about to suggest something else when he brightened up.  I know!  he said.  If I draw a black line here — he indicated the diagonal of the red square — it will make TWO triangles.  And then it will not be a mistake anymore, because the triangles will be red!

I told him that was an elegant solution.  Together we chose a black pen, bisected the square, and admired the two red triangles.  Then he finished his worksheet, with no more problems.